


April Rain

by vampiriney



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Family, Family Drama, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-01-22 19:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18534130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampiriney/pseuds/vampiriney
Summary: Alexander was the most brilliant man Thomas Jefferson knew, all the speed of reasoning and impeccable memory always surprised him. However, time passed and with it came the difficulties that old age brings, the mind without flaws now was not the same.Lost in memories, Alexander tells Thomas about his life without even recognizing his lover.The sky seems to know everything, and the rain threatens to pour one more time





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I did a minor research in order to write this, but i'm no doctor at all, so things might be a little bit off the reality. I really tried to do something nice and respectfull, and i hope not to hurt anyone. 
> 
> The Philip thing was inspired by a scene in blindspotting movie, but there's no graphic description of violence, just a remembrance.
> 
> This is my first time writing something this big in english, so feel free to point errors and etc. This work was made for a contest on Jamilton Amino.
> 
> Shoutout to Luísa, whom I disturbed countless times with this.

The sun was pouring inside the room like liquid golden, the white walls were shining with the light, a rare occasion in this particular week. The days were grey and rainy and he enjoyed the weather, but beautiful sunny days were always his favorite. Anytime the rain could appear she would be welcomed like the sun was, his husband’s flowers needed water and he loved his husband like he loved the sun.

The bed was comfortable, the sheets like clouds in his hands and the feeling of a new lovely day to come. He never was a lazy guy, but, oh, how amazing this bed felt against his body. The man sat on the bed with a yawn and proceedeed to look at the view in the window by his bed, he could listen voices mumbling in the other room. The voices were coming near his door and he waited, it probably was his daughter coming to kiss him goodbye before school. He was feeling a little bit weak, his boss made him stay at home because of a cold, so he needed his daughter to help and open the windows for him. Today was his husband’s birthday, he had to be in a good shape for the little party they would attend with some friends that night.

 

Thomas was waiting at the corridor with Mary, his oldest daughter. She explained that Papa was having trouble to recognize people and was shifting through the decades, he would say things about yesterday and then act like he was with 30 years old again. The old man sighed while gripping his cane, the days were more difficult when the man had his memories jumping everywhere.

He always got sad watching the man he loved confused about the age of his daughters and sons, he would explode in rage and then cry when they didn’t let him go back to work, he wanted to talk to his friends, he wanted to take Phillip in his arms, “He must be hungry and afraid, Thomas. How could i left him alone?” he cried in the porch while Thomas tried to comfort him.

 

Alexander was diagnosticated with Early-Onset Alzheimer at the age of 55 years old. The first signs were completely ignored, ‘cause it was a normal behavior for the man to forget to eat, sleep and shower. But then he started to forget about his work, his favorite books, the month they were, the name of his children. When he got lost in the way from the public library to his home, Thomas freaked out so bad that he called all their friends and almost called the police, but a gentle lady appeared with a confused Alexander at the doorstep. Something that Alex were always proud of, was his perfect memory.

He was 62 years old now, his condition was getting really advanced and the man almost didn’t walk, couldn’t eat by himself and neither write his beloved essays, but some days he was able to speak almost normally. He would tell stories to his grandsons and debate with Thomas about anything possible. The disease was cruel, quick, and relentless. Today was Jefferson’s birthday, Alex was talkative and there was a hope that he could remember exactly the day they were.

The tall man took a deep breath and entered the room, smiling with the sight of the handsome man he married. His hair was almost completely white, his eyes wide and brown like he always loved. Thomas had aged as well, with his beard almost white and hair in crazy greyish tones. He waited Alexander to notice him, the last thing he wanted was to frighten the man.

Hamilton turned his look at him and smiled, bringing a warm feeling at Thomas chest. “Oh, good morning, sir. Are you one of my husband’s friends? Sorry if i don’t recall your name, i’m a little light-headed these days.” he apologized, the taller one almost cried when his lover didn’t recognize him, but maintained the tranquility in his face. “You see, we were expecting our guests only by the evening, but have a sit, please. I asked Thomas to come early from work today, after all it’s his birthday and he deserves a happy day with his family, don’t you think?” Jefferson breathed with relieve taking a chair near the bed, the man remembered that today was his birthday and that was a victory. He didn’t remember the year, but that was a big step. He nodded responding to Hamilton’s question, deciding to stay quiet and let the man talk about whatever he wanted with his now slow and raspy voice.

“You look like him, you know?” He said with a smile on his face “I hope he ages well as you! But don’t tell him, he’s kinda jealous” Alex said putting a finger in front of his mouth, making Thomas giggle softly. “He has always been a bit jealous, insecure about my feelings for him since the day we met. Well, when we met i definitely had grown other sentiments by him instead of love.”.

Jefferson got curious, crossing his legs and resting his elbow on his leg. The story about when they met was told the last time months ago and he always discovered new things about Alexander feelings. “It was a sunny day just like this morning, I took the bus to work and didn’t bother to take an umbrella ‘cause the sun was so beautiful, i never thought the rain would appear so suddenly!”.

“I was walking in the parking lot towards the company and the rain started to pour heavily. Boy, i ran like crazy trying to find somewhere to cover myself, but it was an open park. Then i felt something warm involving me, i looked up and saw that beautiful pair of chocolate eyes looking at me with concern. I’ve melted at the exact time he put his arms beside me to pull me closer and try to protect us with his ridiculous little brown umbrella, we were completely soaked at the time, but i thought his effort was really cute.” He told smiling and looking at the window, Thomas with a wide grin remembered the small man shivering so close to him, it was his first day at the job and he couldn’t let a colleague die from pneumonia like this, but the rain was so heavy that nothing helped them. “Sir, can you please open the window for me? I’m low on energy, you know? It’s always like this in the mornings.” Alexander said with a weak smile on the lips, even he knew it was a silly excuse. “And please, bring your chair closer.”. So did his husband opened the window letting the soft breeze enter the room.

The weather was changing and Alexander could feel it in the wind, Thomas noticed too but remained quiet bringing his chair closer to Alex side. The man wandered for a couple of seconds, maybe he was lost in time again? With a short breath he began to talk. “We didn’t introduce each other, just shared a smile as a thanks and got into our offices. I thought about those eyes all day, until we got the first meeting. Then i acknowledged his name was Thomas Jefferson, he was back from a season on a branch office in France and, oh, he was so full of himself with those grins and smart words, defying me in every sentence i’ve said. It was his birthday, and he used to say that the first gift i gave to him was a hideous migraine.” He laughed at the memories. “But the time passed and i knew he had a crush on me, you see? He always wanted to show his strong chest puffed self, like a proud bird or something like that. I knew that he was trying to impress me, always well dressed and with those eyes shining on me.” Thomas laughed with him, everything was true but he didn’t notice at the time, he tried to impress and rip some good reactions from Alexander, but the guy was impassible. The small man kept his serious facade for a long time, making Jefferson almost give up. Then one day he found at his table a draft for a project they were working together and a slice of apple pie with a note on the plate saying “you look like shit, eat something for god’s sake” and Hamilton’s signature. It was all he needed to know that Alex cared too.

“We worked a lot more together, i got to know all the things he liked, his childhood memories, his fears and joys.” Alexander said looking Thomas with watering eyes, he always got emotional at this part of the history. Then everything gone silent for a few seconds, while Alex tried to gather all the details from his remembrance feeling the breeze in his pale and thin skin. “So one day we were heading back to work after lunch, the sky went dark in seconds and the rain started just like when we met, but he didn’t have his hideous umbrella with him, so he tried to protect me with his coat. His warm eyes looking at me with so much concern, fearing that i could get sick or something like that. He went closer to ask if i was well, i just closed my eyes and kissed him. The rain was so cold, we both were shivering, but it didn’t matter at the time.” He let the words roll looking at Thomas, who was sniffing and trying not to cry, he had to be strong for his husband and be there for him, he was so lucid today, maybe he would recognize him at any moment.

He got closer, waiting for Alexander to continue his history, but the man’s face went darker and his expression saddened, he was quickly entering the dark place of his memories and this type of journey never went well. The taller man stiffened in the chair, just getting ready to sit in the bed and comfort the other with soothing words and kisses.

“My first boy… my Philip.” He mumbled while he turned his look to the window, with dense tears starting to taint his cheeks. “My boy, so young. He was only fifteen, sir, and he was our first son… i’m so afraid, so afraid… he must be so afraid.” Hamilton never overcame his first-born death, and neither Thomas, but he had to stay with his foot on the ground every time his beloved Alex got stuck in this particular time on his mind. Jefferson’s eyes were full of water themselves, but he couldn’t show it, he had to swallow all the pain. “He was heading home after school and i don’t know what happened, sir, they never explained. They said he was running, he was running... and the cops thought he was a thief… a thief. My boy, my little boy mistaken by a thief… it wasn’t even night, but it was raining and he even was with his backpack, he looked just like a regular boy coming from school. His backpack, sir… i still have it, i couldn’t let them bury it, it’s my boy. My lovely boy… the cops… they said… oh, he must be so afraid now, so cold, he must be…” The old man start to sob, his breath failing with the involuntary whimpers, Thomas couldn’t take it anymore, he sat in the bed close to Alexander and took one of his hands, making kind moves with his fingers in the soft skin, trying to bring Alex back to their reality. “He never met his nieces, sir. He would love to play with them, teach them to write and make poems to impress me and Tom.”

Without even realizing it both man were crying hopelessly, but the shared sobbing went silent after a few minutes, and Alexander was lost again in his own intricate maze. What hurt Thomas the most was seeing the man who had a mind so sharp and thoughts so quick now wandering in some reality that Thomas would never be able to join, he would never know what sort of things and memories were in these worlds of Alex brain. The only thing he could do at the time was drag himself by his husband’s side and pull him in a soft embrace, humming a song they used to sing when the kids had nightmares, a little lullaby that Thomas mother taught him when he was a kid.

“Oh, Tommy. I wonder if he got his lunch… you packed his food for him, right? I don’t want my boy hungry, he never pays attention to the classes when he skips lunch.” Alexander said in a low voice, calmed by his husband arms. Thomas almost cried again realizing that Alex finally knew who he was, he tightened the hug while spole with a low tone and stroke the other’s man hair. “Yes, darling, our Philip is okay now… i know... i know that he’s okay.” he said closing his teary eyes and kissing the top of Alexander's hair while the slight rain began to pour softly at the window and the couple faces.

“Your flowers will be beautiful by tomorrow morning, but I think Lucy left her kites in the yard, they are going to dismantle quickly... funny how the rain gives and takes, hm?” He chuckled slowly before losing himself one more time, while facing the dark clouds in the sky. Thomas knew that Alex wasn’t going to speak anytime soon, so he started to humm another song while rocking his lover tightly. When he will comeback? Were those his last words in lucidity? Jefferson could never know.

He tried his best to provide love and comfort for the love of his life, but sometimes it was so hard and painful to see all that light that he loved going away so quickly, like a weak flame. He was able to take it in his palms with some effort, but it would always burn his hands and he would never be able to carry it close to his chest again.

 

The rain was there when they found love, the rain was there when the beats of their hearts went numb at the cold pavement, and they could see the rain coming again, heavy and painful, ready to put out their shining blaze once for all.


	2. I'm sorry

I'm putting this here 'cause i want to put the fic in the First page of recently updated. Apparently, my divulgation skills are shit, so i'm just trying something new.

Please, share with your friends and leave comments hahaha thanks for reading

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for the kudos and comments!


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